Most of us, if not all, reach that point when we feel like life is betraying us and we just can’t take it anymore. That moment when your longtime partner suddenly left you for reason you never knew. When you failed your last college requirement when you thought you’ll be graduating in weeks. When your best dog died at the exact time when everything is pissing you off. You want to go to the edge of the world. Squeeze your tear ducts and shout all your frustrations out.
It’s normal if you want to be alone and grieve. You might want to look back and reflect on what happened and what went wrong. You might punish yourself for it. But you must help yourself. At least take one step. Stop starving yourself. Go out. Your people will reach out and you must take their hands. Nobody can lift you up if you won’t allow them. Stop hiding in the darkness of your room. Find the light, literally and figuratively.
I remember a line in the series “How to Get Away with Murder”. Annalise, the main character, was always hit by jabs her life releases. Her baby died during her pregnancy; her husband died in a murder; she was shot in the gut by one of her students; and many other complications that her lawyer duties bring. And when everything is going out of control, she reached out to her mother, Ophelia. And Ophelia said, “The reason why you feel it’s too hard is because you’re trying to do it alone.” So there, accept that you need help. Keep in mind that two is better than one.
Personally, every time I encounter a problem, I tend to think of other people who I think are suffering from heavier baggage. I will eventually realize that I’m still lucky because I have a minor one as compared to them. I know it isn’t a good thing to do. It is selfish. But I need to save myself from torture. At least, when I’m better, I can do better and I can even help them with the healing.
It might take you weeks or months before you get over it, depending on the intensity of the unfortunate event. But don’t stay grieving forever. What’s done is done. And all you can do now is move on. Besides, nothing lasts forever, even agony.